When did life get so complicated………

Can someone explain to me when life got so freaking complicated?

I would like to say that I am writing from my nice comfy red couch in my reading room at my house. Drinking a nice glass of wine for……ummm digestive and heart purposes (yeah right). This post is coming from my parents’ house. This is my sanctuary when things get crazy in my mind and the quietness in my house seems too loud. Today is that day. I am overly frustrated with life, and it used to not be this way. I remember a time when I was carefree without a worry in the world. I was about to graduate from from grad school, I had a job and was out of a seven year relationship that I ended (first grown up decision of my life). I had no real expectations about life all I know is that I wanted to live life to fullest and then something happened…………I started living out others expectations on my life.

I know other people (especially those older than us) have the best intentions in mind when it comes to our lives but I can honestly say that it has left me 30 lbs overweight, anxiety ridden and not living the life that i ever had envisioned for myself. It’s not their fault for imparting wisdom, it’s my fault for trying to take all the ideas and perform them at once.

My vision……my vision in life is to help others anyway I can. I don’t want one specific group. I think only using my super human powers (yes I’m a superhero….no for real) to service one group of people is pretty dang selfish. No I’m not talking about healing the world in a month or solving global warming, but giving a smile when someone needs it, or a hug, even being that shoulder for someone to cry on. This is my purpose in life, this is what brings me joy and satisfaction. This is why God gave me this beautiful smile, flirty eyes, gorgeous disposition, and a personality that can light up a room (yes I do know my assets and I will brag about them daily). I wasn’t put on this Earth for just one purpose, I am here to live life 🙂

My issues…….yes I have them and now I am learning how not to be ashamed of them. I CAN NOT be perfect……let me repeat this…..I CAN NOT be perfect nor do I want to be. A perfect life is a boring life and for a while that’s the direction my life was pointed…..BORING!!! My issues have shaped me into the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. As much as I wish I wasn’t a type A, procrastinating, introverted, sleep deprived young lady, it’s who I am. I mean I can’t apologize for and yes I can make a few changes but my flaws and strengths are what have made me who I am.

My body…..my body is beautiful (take that society), it is just as beautiful now as it was when I was working out 5x times a week, eating chicken breast with every meal and drinking about 5 L of water a day. I have been criticised about my shape since before I knew I had a shape. I have been told that I needed to hide it, cover it, reduce it, bind it blah blah blah!!! I have finally realized it doesn’t matter whether I wear a potato sack someone is still going to have a problem with it. But it’s fine because their issues are not mine. It took 32 years to make this body what it is today and if I wasn’t supposed to have any of this then I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to carry it so well (POW!! Take that 🙂

These my dear friends are things that I have lost sight of as I have traveled down this road we call life. Neglecting all these wonderful things about myself and listening to others has made me forget how wonderful of a human being I am. I have learned that life becomes complicated when I stopped believing in the person that I am and started believing in the person others wanted me to be. I became frustrated with life when I believed in the expectations others had for my life instead of believing and trusting in the plan I was already on. Life became dissatisfying when I stopped trying to make myself happy and started taking others happiness and satisfaction as a bigger priority.

So as I sit here, I know how to make life less complicated…..I have to trust my life process and believe that all things will work out for me even if it seems a little foggy and I can’t see the end of the road. My life is my life and its the only life I have. I have a choice in making it what it can be……and what I want it to be is a lot less uncomplicated 🙂C360_2015-02-28-20-03-01-094

To be or not to be a Southern Belle……

My grandmother was a true southern belle. When she became “of age” she turned in her play shoes, patched up pants and hoop dreams (she was a beast at half court lol) to become the epitome of a true southern woman. No she was never stuck up, she just oozed the essence of a well mannered (in public), well spoken, connoisseur of  etiquette and beauty. She taught me how to properly set a dinner table, which forks to use at a formal dinner,how to cook gumbo (still haven’t tried her recipe), proper undergarments (I’m still rejecting the girdle), financial advice, dating advice, and how to successfully host a party, get together, soiree, or gala. She was a great wealth of knowledge.

Now there’s me……I can look the part but when it comes to acting the part……that’s another story. I know what a good southern woman should be and do but it just takes too much energy (yes I aware that’s sounds really lazy), but my life is so much different than what my grandmother experienced.

1. Southern belles speak eloquently in any situation. They think before speaking, enunciate every word, address other’s as “sir” or “ma’am”, and are respectful in conversations and wait their turn to speak.

Ha I wish this were me in every situation but I have a tendency to do things a little different. I mumble and ramble sometimes with no clear thought process. If I use sir or ma’am chances are I’m being extra sarcastic and not respectful. Matter of fact I think my blood has extra “sarcastic cells” that run through it, sometimes I can’t even tell the difference.

2. Southern Belles have the most impeccable appearance in public and in private. Every hair is curled, make up is always on, finest of clothing or housecoat, and always abiding fashion rules .

Yeah okay my dress up days are Sundays and that’s not an all the time occurrence (we have polo shirts we were for different Sundays, THANK YOU JESUS). When I go to work I try to at least dress business casual 2 out of the 5 days of the week, what can I say….I’m a teacher and a head coach. We are in season…..what’s easier in the morning suit or sweats…..um yeah if you say suit you’re lying to yourself or I’m just jealous that you make better fashion decisions than I do (po po to you :-P)

3. Southern belles are known to be charming, slightly helpless and extremely polite. Graceful movement and elegance must be worked and anger must never be shown in a public setting.

HAHAHAHHAHA I just laughed when I thought about how I almost tripped today at church but no one caught it but me lol. Graceful would not be a word that I would use to describe any of my movements. On a daily basis I trip, bump into, yank, pull , forcefully exert my will onto others…..does any of that sound graceful to you? Oh and the whole damsel in distress….yeah never going to happen. At one point in my life I could bench press 225 lbs 5x, really helpless, I think never.

4.Southern belles are known for throwing memorable, elegant soirees. True belles are light, sweet and sociable without being overbearing when out for the evening. A certain amount of mystery must be maintained by a belle, even with her most intimate of friends. Cooking for others is often seen as a characteristic of a bonafide belle.

So this whole mystery thing….ummm does it count when you tell the server  “Surprise me!!!” when making a beverage? No, well mysterious I am not. Lol I don’t know how to whisper, when I get excited I get microphone voice (you know you start getting louder and louder without even knowing it), and that whole sweet thing yeah not happening lol. I have truly tried but Lord knows when I get out and have fun especially with my girls, I just become more than the life of the party (does that mean I get annoying??…ehhhh). And having anything at my house means that all my laundry is folded, floors are vacuumed and I have been home during the week to do (which means it aint going to happen)

No I’m sure I my life where a little less complicated, I worked less hours, my job thought I was human and not a computer, etc, I could lead the life of true Southern Belle, but until then I can play dress up and pretend. But my true nature will always dominate. I am who I am, a successful, thirty something educator, who hates doing laundry, hopes to at least put on mascara in the morning, and for dang sure will never be a damsel in distress!

C360_2015-03-08-14-27-38-747
Read more : http://www.ehow.com/info_8122642_southern-belle-characteristics.html

Confessions from a Red Couch

Good evening,

This Saturday helped me realized things that I enjoy.

1. I really enjoy waking up in the morning and going back to sleep. I’m not a morning person, I am more of a wake up for 2 hours and go back to sleep for an hour type person. This is particularly significant because my profession does not allow this to happen often. It explains why I’m not fully functional until about 9:30-10am, I’m still waking up.

2. I love to clean my house in t-shirt and spanks. No I’m not talking about the figure altering brand of shape contorting under garments. If you have ever played organized volleyball or were a track athlete, you know I’m just referring to really short spandex. It’s actually quite liberating since house work is kinda like a workout anyway lol.

3. Not having to rush out of the house to do anything is THE MOST fabulous thing in the world. During the week I have to complete things for my job, for church, or just helping others out. When I get a Saturday where I get to choose what I truly want to do it is absolute bliss!!

4. Uninterrupted reading time!!! I love to read….for enjoyment. I remember when I graduated from college I vowed to only read for enjoyment…..no text books or manuals or anything educational, and then I became a teacher (p.s. teacher editions are the devil). So when I get time to get lost in a book I relish. I spent the whole day reading, cleaning and eating!! That my friends is what I call the best day ever 🙂