Things This Single Woman Detest (such a strong word but if the stiletto fits) ………

As I sit here on my fabulous red couch (yes back home in my quiet) I think about all the things I seriously hate as a single woman. Now before someone looks at me sideways I have my own definition for the word SINGLE (all caps makes it scary but it’s really quite a nice little word……SSSSIIIIINNNNGGGGLLLEEE, rolls right off your tongue). To me being single means that I have yet to make the commitment to marriage. I am in a relationship, but are we at a point that we are thinking about marriage, not that I know of. But it’s okay…no worries here because although I would like to do the whole married with kids and white picket fence with a small dog and neighbors that bring over baked goods and jello and all that jazz (random runon sorry), I don’t think I’m ready for it. I’ve prayed about it and all I hear God say is nothing (lol because He knows I’m not ready for it either). I feel as though I am on a different path at the moment (Again prayed about that too and God said “Go and enjoy all the things I have put in this world that I want all to enjoy”…..yep just like that). Anywho….enough of that here are the things I despise………………

Laundry!!! You would think that as a single person who lives in a house I wouldn’t have that much laundry but I do and I hate it. I feel like I’m making a dent and then I look in the laundry room and see a mountain that will put Mt. Everest to shame. I swear I don’t know where all these clothes come from. I have given clothes away every year for the past five years and yet and still……TOO MANY CLOTHES. But every week I seem to be washing a ton of clothes most of which I don’t remember buying or wearing. Like at this moment I’m looking at a basket and breaking out in hives knowing that I have to fold them at some point in life. If I were married yeah…..I’d probably make sure that he can fold and put up the clothes…..yeah that would be his job (Kanye shrug lol), but I promise I would wash and dry….I’d do my share I promise 🙂

Being treated as though I am a child……okay look I’m 32 years old not 15 or 21 or 25…….I AM #@(@(#( 32!!! Yet because I don’t have kids or I’m not married I tend to be treated as a child, not by my parents (you would think right BTW if yall are reading this I LOVE YALL SOOOO VERY MUCH), no by people who think “aww you poor baby, someone will scoop you up soon..” that’s not the way this works. I have a whole house note, car note, hwa fees, escrow and career (i think all this qualifies me as a responsible adult) I am grown beyond measure. Being single doesn’t mean I am not mature or can’t fend for myself. I am perfectly capable to do all of the above. I love the fact that people worry about my well being, but please understand I am not in my house burning pieces of wood and hunting the stray cats in my neighborhood to eat and stay warm (I just laughed out loud for real at that thought). I may not have always had a partner to discuss all major decisions but I do have others in my life that have trained and made me perfectly competent to do all these things and more.  I can take care of myself.

Fairy tales……I don’t think I’ve ever really liked fairy tales. When I was younger my grandmother started my Disney video collection. The first VHS (yep i said it….) ever gave me was The Little Mermaid. I loved the singing and dancing but I could never understand why Ariel wouldn’t just swim up to the prince and introduce herself. I mean it would have cut out the whole Ursela and losing her voice deal and the prince and her dad would just have to deal with who she really was anyway…..(was I the only 9 year old who thought this?? probably) I guess I don’t get the whole concept of a fairy tale. To me living happily ever after means accepting yourself for who you are and living your life to the fullest. If you want to get married, GREAT!! If you want to stay single and travel to every continent around the world and learn to say hello in every different language known to man…..DO IT!! It’s your life and you don’t have to wait for anyone else to tell you to how to live it. As long as you put God first and seek Him as you travel through this great journey we call life you should be happy. That’s the fairy tale I guess I believe and it’s the one I am living.

This one is fun…..being set up!!! Please stop, don’t do it….(I think of this and die several slow deaths) I love that you think so highly of me that you want me to be with someone you think I would be perfect for…..but please don’t. Usually the situation just turns really awkward and then I have to report back to you about the total level of awkwardness and then hear about how you “just thought we would be great for each other”. I swear I truly love you for thinking I would be a great match for anybody and believe me, I know I am awesome (no…really I’m super awesome :)) Unless I ask you just hold off on the match making. It saves me and the other person from wasting an hour and a half of our lives trying to be cordial to one another while thinking about other things we could be doing (like folding all that freaking laundry….seriously it’s like never ending).

I hope this wasn’t too much (remember this is just me confessing ergo the title “Confessions From a Red Couch”)…..but just a little list of things that irk me. I love my life and where I’m going. Am I always quite sure where it’s going to lead me….No!! But I trust and have faith in God that He will never steer me wrong. I use every experience as something to learn from, pass on, and live through. This part of my journey I’m on is great and no matter how long it lasts, I’m going to make sure I enjoy it to the fullest :o)


When did life get so complicated………

Can someone explain to me when life got so freaking complicated?

I would like to say that I am writing from my nice comfy red couch in my reading room at my house. Drinking a nice glass of wine for……ummm digestive and heart purposes (yeah right). This post is coming from my parents’ house. This is my sanctuary when things get crazy in my mind and the quietness in my house seems too loud. Today is that day. I am overly frustrated with life, and it used to not be this way. I remember a time when I was carefree without a worry in the world. I was about to graduate from from grad school, I had a job and was out of a seven year relationship that I ended (first grown up decision of my life). I had no real expectations about life all I know is that I wanted to live life to fullest and then something happened…………I started living out others expectations on my life.

I know other people (especially those older than us) have the best intentions in mind when it comes to our lives but I can honestly say that it has left me 30 lbs overweight, anxiety ridden and not living the life that i ever had envisioned for myself. It’s not their fault for imparting wisdom, it’s my fault for trying to take all the ideas and perform them at once.

My vision……my vision in life is to help others anyway I can. I don’t want one specific group. I think only using my super human powers (yes I’m a superhero….no for real) to service one group of people is pretty dang selfish. No I’m not talking about healing the world in a month or solving global warming, but giving a smile when someone needs it, or a hug, even being that shoulder for someone to cry on. This is my purpose in life, this is what brings me joy and satisfaction. This is why God gave me this beautiful smile, flirty eyes, gorgeous disposition, and a personality that can light up a room (yes I do know my assets and I will brag about them daily). I wasn’t put on this Earth for just one purpose, I am here to live life 🙂

My issues…….yes I have them and now I am learning how not to be ashamed of them. I CAN NOT be perfect……let me repeat this…..I CAN NOT be perfect nor do I want to be. A perfect life is a boring life and for a while that’s the direction my life was pointed…..BORING!!! My issues have shaped me into the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. As much as I wish I wasn’t a type A, procrastinating, introverted, sleep deprived young lady, it’s who I am. I mean I can’t apologize for and yes I can make a few changes but my flaws and strengths are what have made me who I am.

My body… body is beautiful (take that society), it is just as beautiful now as it was when I was working out 5x times a week, eating chicken breast with every meal and drinking about 5 L of water a day. I have been criticised about my shape since before I knew I had a shape. I have been told that I needed to hide it, cover it, reduce it, bind it blah blah blah!!! I have finally realized it doesn’t matter whether I wear a potato sack someone is still going to have a problem with it. But it’s fine because their issues are not mine. It took 32 years to make this body what it is today and if I wasn’t supposed to have any of this then I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to carry it so well (POW!! Take that 🙂

These my dear friends are things that I have lost sight of as I have traveled down this road we call life. Neglecting all these wonderful things about myself and listening to others has made me forget how wonderful of a human being I am. I have learned that life becomes complicated when I stopped believing in the person that I am and started believing in the person others wanted me to be. I became frustrated with life when I believed in the expectations others had for my life instead of believing and trusting in the plan I was already on. Life became dissatisfying when I stopped trying to make myself happy and started taking others happiness and satisfaction as a bigger priority.

So as I sit here, I know how to make life less complicated…..I have to trust my life process and believe that all things will work out for me even if it seems a little foggy and I can’t see the end of the road. My life is my life and its the only life I have. I have a choice in making it what it can be……and what I want it to be is a lot less uncomplicated 🙂C360_2015-02-28-20-03-01-094

I am a shoe freak

Okay I must admit…..I FREAKING LOVE SHOES!!!! Like my ideal house has three bedrooms that are converted into closets that are full of shoes. I can personally say I own more that 50 pairs of shoes (that I can picture in my head). It’s sad but a great addiction to have.

Shoes never break your heart….wellllllllllll: I actually had one pair that I could never wear. For the life of me my high pain tolerance could get over the pinching sensation the shoes caused my pinky toe to suffer. Usually I can do mind over matter in shoes, if I think they don’t hurt then they don’t, but this pair….uh not so much. I gave them away after the second time I wore them… I literally took them off my feet and gave them to someone else. It was an extremely heart breaking situation but I got over it by buying another pair of shoes lol.

I can wear my platform stilettoes and perform my household duties. I have these pair of blue suede heels that I wear when I vacuum the floor. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, maybe because I know it’s weird and I’m hoping if I confess it I will feel better about it (nope….because truthfully my dear I don’t give a darn lol). I have another pair that I clean the kitchen in and then I put them away and match them with an outfit that hopefully I will be able to wear before the next cleaning excursion. I’m not sure if this is a true skill but I think the future Mr. Strickland (yeah….lol funny) would enjoy watching me clean in these ridiculously inappropriate footwear.

My shoes make me seem larger than life……no like for real lol people never take account of my height with or without my heels. Everyone just assumes I’m tall when I really stand at a whooping 5’6 1/2 on a good day (in all actuality it’s 5’6, the half just sounds taller). I guess my personality paired with my lovely shoes makes people think I’m a lot taller. It’s days like these that I thank my shoes and everyone that has made who I am today……a tall person impersonator lol

Shoes brighten my day……some of yall have children, pets, or even a lover/spouse/partner/whatever floats your boat that you can come home to after a hard day and cuddle, kiss, hug, complain to, and blah blah blah but at some point they will do something that will irk you like poo on the floor (child or pet….idk I’ve never had either), or give unwanted advice , or just not listen. My shoes on the other hand……all I have to do is slip a pair on (no matter what I’m wearing, usually it’s after practice so I have on sweats) and walk around the house. I don’t have to pretend, I don’t have to listen, all I have to do is walk……(omg I have a problem lol)

Okay maybe I sound like I have a major issue but it’s not so bad. It may be an addiction but it’s not like drinking or smoking, my liver is great and I have asthma so none of that destructive behavior for me. But give me a great sale or a new online shoe site…. I may hurt my bank account but at least that only affects me. right……..not like secondhand smoke :o)

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*TEAR* my babies look so cute in this picture……I’m so proud *TEAR*

To be or not to be a Southern Belle……

My grandmother was a true southern belle. When she became “of age” she turned in her play shoes, patched up pants and hoop dreams (she was a beast at half court lol) to become the epitome of a true southern woman. No she was never stuck up, she just oozed the essence of a well mannered (in public), well spoken, connoisseur of  etiquette and beauty. She taught me how to properly set a dinner table, which forks to use at a formal dinner,how to cook gumbo (still haven’t tried her recipe), proper undergarments (I’m still rejecting the girdle), financial advice, dating advice, and how to successfully host a party, get together, soiree, or gala. She was a great wealth of knowledge.

Now there’s me……I can look the part but when it comes to acting the part……that’s another story. I know what a good southern woman should be and do but it just takes too much energy (yes I aware that’s sounds really lazy), but my life is so much different than what my grandmother experienced.

1. Southern belles speak eloquently in any situation. They think before speaking, enunciate every word, address other’s as “sir” or “ma’am”, and are respectful in conversations and wait their turn to speak.

Ha I wish this were me in every situation but I have a tendency to do things a little different. I mumble and ramble sometimes with no clear thought process. If I use sir or ma’am chances are I’m being extra sarcastic and not respectful. Matter of fact I think my blood has extra “sarcastic cells” that run through it, sometimes I can’t even tell the difference.

2. Southern Belles have the most impeccable appearance in public and in private. Every hair is curled, make up is always on, finest of clothing or housecoat, and always abiding fashion rules .

Yeah okay my dress up days are Sundays and that’s not an all the time occurrence (we have polo shirts we were for different Sundays, THANK YOU JESUS). When I go to work I try to at least dress business casual 2 out of the 5 days of the week, what can I say….I’m a teacher and a head coach. We are in season…..what’s easier in the morning suit or sweats… yeah if you say suit you’re lying to yourself or I’m just jealous that you make better fashion decisions than I do (po po to you :-P)

3. Southern belles are known to be charming, slightly helpless and extremely polite. Graceful movement and elegance must be worked and anger must never be shown in a public setting.

HAHAHAHHAHA I just laughed when I thought about how I almost tripped today at church but no one caught it but me lol. Graceful would not be a word that I would use to describe any of my movements. On a daily basis I trip, bump into, yank, pull , forcefully exert my will onto others…..does any of that sound graceful to you? Oh and the whole damsel in distress….yeah never going to happen. At one point in my life I could bench press 225 lbs 5x, really helpless, I think never.

4.Southern belles are known for throwing memorable, elegant soirees. True belles are light, sweet and sociable without being overbearing when out for the evening. A certain amount of mystery must be maintained by a belle, even with her most intimate of friends. Cooking for others is often seen as a characteristic of a bonafide belle.

So this whole mystery thing….ummm does it count when you tell the server  “Surprise me!!!” when making a beverage? No, well mysterious I am not. Lol I don’t know how to whisper, when I get excited I get microphone voice (you know you start getting louder and louder without even knowing it), and that whole sweet thing yeah not happening lol. I have truly tried but Lord knows when I get out and have fun especially with my girls, I just become more than the life of the party (does that mean I get annoying??…ehhhh). And having anything at my house means that all my laundry is folded, floors are vacuumed and I have been home during the week to do (which means it aint going to happen)

No I’m sure I my life where a little less complicated, I worked less hours, my job thought I was human and not a computer, etc, I could lead the life of true Southern Belle, but until then I can play dress up and pretend. But my true nature will always dominate. I am who I am, a successful, thirty something educator, who hates doing laundry, hopes to at least put on mascara in the morning, and for dang sure will never be a damsel in distress!

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Confessions from a Red Couch

Good evening,

This Saturday helped me realized things that I enjoy.

1. I really enjoy waking up in the morning and going back to sleep. I’m not a morning person, I am more of a wake up for 2 hours and go back to sleep for an hour type person. This is particularly significant because my profession does not allow this to happen often. It explains why I’m not fully functional until about 9:30-10am, I’m still waking up.

2. I love to clean my house in t-shirt and spanks. No I’m not talking about the figure altering brand of shape contorting under garments. If you have ever played organized volleyball or were a track athlete, you know I’m just referring to really short spandex. It’s actually quite liberating since house work is kinda like a workout anyway lol.

3. Not having to rush out of the house to do anything is THE MOST fabulous thing in the world. During the week I have to complete things for my job, for church, or just helping others out. When I get a Saturday where I get to choose what I truly want to do it is absolute bliss!!

4. Uninterrupted reading time!!! I love to read….for enjoyment. I remember when I graduated from college I vowed to only read for enjoyment… text books or manuals or anything educational, and then I became a teacher (p.s. teacher editions are the devil). So when I get time to get lost in a book I relish. I spent the whole day reading, cleaning and eating!! That my friends is what I call the best day ever 🙂