“Falling in love was a solo act. I knew that, had learned that the hard way. You just jumped and hoped your parachute opened.”—– Eric Jerome Dickie
I read this quote from one of my favorite books and it really intrigued me. I started thinking about all the times I thought I had fallen in love.
The preschool boyfriend. I had a boyfriend in preschool and no I wasn’t a fast tailed little girl. My family took us on dates to the library to listen to story time at the library. We shared our juice boxes, fought on the playground and had our first kiss (I think we actually just mushed our faces together…not really romantic). I don’t think I was in love then but I do know I was having fun.
At this point I was the only child and I didn’t have a lot of cousins my age in Missouri. I remember having a playmate that was a boy. There were no titles, no pressure, just someone to play in the sandbox with and challenge to some type of childhood contest ( I bet I can hold my breath longer than you…..nah uh I got asthma lol). It was fun while it lasted we moved onto to kindergarten and went our separate ways,sometimes I wonder if he remembers me.
Middle School Love
The middle school boyfriend. Okay I was full tomboy by this time. We moved to Texas and I got a chance to be around boys for real. I wasn’t fully aware of how my body was changing. The havoc the hormones were wreaking on my life, my parents’ lives, and my cousins’ lives. I was a mess to say the least and that deadly mixture of hormones and killer body made me think I fell in love every month.
Now let me say this again……I WAS NOT A FAST TAILED LITTLE GAL!!! So in the 6th grade I acquired a boyfriend by letting him walk me to class and that was the extent of the relationship. Like seriously he walked me to class and we talked about our acne (how sweet…….GAG MUCH). We didn’t talk on the phone much because I wasn’t a big phone talker(amazing right, still the same way). Looking back, 6th grade boyfriend was the sweetest relationship I’ve ever had because we were able to be open about our flaws and accepted each other regardless of pizza face. Was it love…..nope. Had I fallen….of course not lol but it was still sweet.
High School Love:
High school boyfriend!!!! I only had one real boyfriend my senior year (sorry to the rest of you) and I can positively say that the quote mentioned above fit this situation. I had fallen by myself (suka!!!). It was totally a solo act. I jumped out of the plane, opened my parachute and landed on the ground only to see him still in the plane with two girls that had already graduated. Ha it was joke (but I had the last laugh…..don’t judge me). This one relationship has shaped the few I have had after it, but I still don’t believe falling in love is only a solo act.
The Continual Falling:
From then on I would have a college relationship/engagement and the ones in between. Just know I’m not married but I’m not lonely lol. I type all this to say falling in love can be a solo act or a joint journey, it just depends on your choices. You can choose to fall in love with someone you knew from the start of the relationship that was never meant for you or you can fall together with someone who truly cares and is invested a respects the position that they have in your life.
UPDATE: The Husband
I remember writing the above and really coming to grips with just being single forever. I was good with it honestly. Then came this quiet,tall, chocolate dude who decided to take my heart in his hands and keep it as safe as he could. This time falling in love wasn’t a solo act. We held hands and jumped. Yes I can imagine my life without him but I don’t want it. No it’s not a fairy tale but it’s more than I could ever ask for.
As you can see, things can definitely change with time. I never thought I would be where I am now and I wouldn’t change it at all. Make sure you read previous blogs AND Episode 12 of the podcast had dropped tonight. You can find it here or at linktr.ee/redcouchconfessions.