7 Day #Self-Love Challenge

 

Self Love Challenge: Jennifer Hall http://abundantlifepractice.com/self-love-challenge/

Hey LOVES!!! I hope the start of this new year has found you in a prosperous, goal setting and fulfilling state of mind. I, myself, have been tackling old phobias and challenging old ways of thinking. It has been a journey but I feel like I’m making some headway. This month I decided to tackle the idea of self love and if I can truly say I love myself. I’ve always thought I did, I mean who doesn’t love themselves (Hell I’m freaking amazing right…) but I have been showing subtle signs of self hate (bih get it together!!) Not forgiving myself for choices I’ve made, eating horrible food and not getting any type exercise (does lifting the fork count?….no?) This could not be any way to bring in my new year right (New me…turn up lol).

I really thought I loved myself. I shop when I feel like it, I feed myself awesomely amazing food, give myself any and every legal form of indulgence that my little heart desired. Why you may ask…..well that’s self love right? Nope,unfortunately not, I was covering the sadness and disappointment I felt everyday and this cycle needed to change before I ate myself back into the predicament I was in last spring (sever booty-do).  I decided to take a 7 day Self-Love Challenge (link above) that I randomly found on Facebook while mindlessly scrolling through friends engagement and baby announcements and pictures (yes please make me feel worse about being single at the beginning of the year).

The 7 day self love challenge by Jennifer Hall offered a way to reprogram myself into loving me for who I am. Each day I was welcomed by an email that included an exercise, a positive affirmation and a great quote to help me overcome the day’s challenges. Self love isn’t about indulging one’s self but more so accepting you for you. Every choice, every consequence, every intricate detail of your very make up is who you are and nothing can change that. I learned my triggers (what will send me into a cycle of self loathing), what makes me happy, how to maintain a balance of self care (mind, body and soul) that will help me to love myself totally and not just for my positive attributes. I think we (mostly women) get stuck in a pattern of pleasing others so much that we begin to loathe those things that makes us “US”. So instead of embracing those things that make us different from the masses, we try to hide it (especially around certain people) in order to be accepted, because acceptance to us equals love and appreciation. I won’t go into great detail because I feel that it’s something you should experience for yourself.  If you find that self love is something you need to delve into a little deeper you should try Jennifer Hall’s Self Love class or her retreat.

Until February lovelies……..have a great rest of your month. I promise life is what you make it. If you are having a rough time make it a point to turn things around. Start changing little things first and the big things will follow.

 

 

 

*I was not paid to talk about this challenge lol truthfully I don’t even know if she will read this. I do know that it helped me and I feel that everyone should always get the help they need 🙂

 

 

 

From Grown Girl to Woman….Get Your Power Back!!!!

Happy New Year loves!!! It’s been a while and it was on purpose. I really had nothing to write about. Not because I wasn’t doing anything on the contrary I have been living life. Since my last post I have increased my countries visited in one year to five (Bahamas, Canada, Honduras, Belize, and Mexico), I started dating which has become so much fun and I have met some really nice people, and I have been figuring out this thing called life (dearly beloved we gather here today to get through this thing called life <3 some Prince). I have decided to slow things down for a little bit, just so I can enjoy the process and not sprint through it.

Now I know my sugas didn’t click on this link to hear about my adventures (or maybe you did and I’ll tell you about all of it next time), so let’s get down with the get down.

I recently read an article on femde.com that changed my entire outlook about my life when it comes to how I handle certain situations. It was an interview done with the lovely Ms. Jill Scott (swoon….) who always has wisdom for the people. My favorite quote was “I’m holding myself to another level of accountability, I used to blame whoever for hurting my feelings. ‘They were wrong, they did that to me.’ Hey! You chose that person. You accepted it. You went for it. You bit into the apple.You bought the wooden nickel.”

Not only did this make me stare into space from sheer shock, it made me reevaluate relationships in my life. The good, the bad and the down right ugly. I made all those choices. I allowed those relationships to form knowing what the consequences might have been. I have to take responsibility for EVERYTHING that has happened in my life (whew…..I may not be as smart as I thought). My pastor always says “Your mate is a product of your intelligence”…..well sir I may be single but my exes (that goes for ex-friends too) have shown I made some pretty dumb a** decisions. But I’m not here to tell you how I bashed myself, but in reality I transferred from a grown girl to a WOMAN and I took my power back.

The writer (Samantha Thornhill) did this amazing exercise where she wrote about a particular hurtful relationship. She saw outward and inward, how that person hurt her and how she allowed it all to happen. She totally did an introspective on how she participated in the madness!! So here it goes…I’m going to put it out there for everyone to see and not be ashamed of the truth that will be revealed.

I felt disappointed when you didn’t keep your word. You asked….no no BEGGED me to give you chance. You said you were different than everyone else and you’d always have my back. Yet you didn’t. I felt humiliated that you cheated on me with another co-worker. I could see if it were someone else that had no connection….but someone we worked with? We taught and mentored the same kids. We shared intimate space and conversations….you couldn’t…well you couldn’t have picked anyone else?I felt disbelief when you made it seem like it was totally my fault. Like with everything that was happening it was my fault and you were disgusted by the very sight of me. I felt disrespected by your utter disregard for anything we ever developed together. You were just going to stop talking to me all together like it would make me disappear as if I never existed.

I hold myself accountable for not being more forward about my expectations of the relationship. Just “seeing where it goes” was not meaningful enough for me and I didn’t communicate that. I hold myself accountable for not asking more questions about what you really wanted in the relationship and why that woman was ringing your doorbell at 230 in the morning. I hold myself accountable for trusting this person with holding me down. It felt awesome to have someone new in my world that could see how great I truly was (or so I thought) and to say that they had my back…man. I hold myself accountable for not protecting myself by not listening to the holy spirit (for those who don’t know…my gut). I went totally against every warning sign in my body and trusted superficial acts and words. Truth is I knew it shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did….hell it never should have even started. I broke down all my walls and reservations, against all my knowledge and wisdom, and made a decision based on loneliness.

………And there it is. The truth and nothing but the truth. I think the thing that has made this less painful is the fact that I can do this with any relationship and stop the blame game. In order to be a WOMAN I have to accept the responsibility of my choices. It hurts and I feel a bit of shame, but I do understand this is necessary to grow and evolve. Without evolution there can be no adaptation and without adaptation there is no survival. Life is about growing and surviving……and I have to grow into a woman and take my power back 🙂

The article mentioned can be found here: Are you a WOMAN or grown girl? written by Samantha Thornhill

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The View from the Red Couch 🙂 FLOORS <3