Ghosted…..

Hey kids!! I haven’t been as active as I wanted to this year but I’m going to do a better job next year. I am excited for this year coming up. Great relationship, new career moves and I’ll be done with my book (thank God!!!)

Dating tip: Nobody is ever too busy to see you. They’ll make time for what’s important. Don’t play yourself….move around and be happy‚̧

We’ve all been there you’re talking to someone, getting a pretty good vibe, you go on a couple of dates, phone conversations are amazing, you are feeling like this person could help you end the crazy cycle of dating. But then it happens…. phone calls are less frequent, text messages turn into one word responses and then….out no where…*puff* that person disappears.

Now look there’s a whole bunch of reasons this could happen: they were in between choosing you and someone else, they realized you wanted more than they could give, you said something that threw the vibe off… etc. To be honest I’ve been on both sides of this and I have ghosted men for far more petty reasons than this (if you contact me before 7 am on the weekend or holiday break I can’t roll with you). Either way it’s not a great feeling and only a sociopath would be okay with ghosting (only you can prevent sociopathic tendencies)…..so consider this a guide to get over being ghosted.

1. It really isn’t you….I promise it’s them….

Now look as much as you want to try to figure out whats wrong with you and how could you have done anything different….well you can’t/couldn’t. It’s a process the “ghost” has to walk themselves through. The only thing you can ever control in this brief blip in your dating life yourself. As long as you were your authentic self there is nothing you could have done differently. So don’t think if you change who you are then it will help the next time because well it won’t. Continue to be the beautiful light that you are and you will be recognized.

2. Set your boundaries

You need to make sure you have” hard nos” to safeguard yourself. When you set boundaries it will help you avoid ghosting. Now this doesn’t mean the person will pick you to date but it will help you make sure the boundaries you set for yourself aren’t violated.

3. Moving forward……

Okay now look dating sucks especially in today’s society. Hell it seems like “let’s just see what happens” is the new title for relationships these days. It keeps one foot in and one foot out, this is what makes ghosting so easy. But you don’t have to go with the flow, move forward expecting a real grown up relationship (guess this goes with number 2). You will either end up in a real life realtionship or continue being the best single person you can be. Either way make sure you are happy and content with the life that you are going to continue to live.

4. Do not expect closure…..create it for yourself.

The ghost will never give you the closure you feel you deserve (I promise this was the best advice I received from a man). There is nothing anyone can say to help you move on, it has to be your choice. Will you move forward or will you continue to harp on something you can’t change? My advice is to forgive yourself and move on. The world is too big and filled with too many amazing people to just worry about one.

I’m not saying any of this will protect you from future ghost but it will help you to continue to be the most fabulous light that people will ever encounter. Just keep living and moving and I can guarantee you can make this the best life ever.

One thought on “Ghosted…..

  1. Ghosted! A nice way of saying he wasn’t ireally nto you! Take relationships slow and don’t be to fast in jumping into the bed. Dating can be fun and create new ideas. I love it a new word and very short and spicy message.

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