Day 12 I feel like it’s been the 12 days of Christmas lol. Each day has brought some type of new experience, thought, or idea. I’m in awe of the progress and the process. I’m sorry I didn’t post this yesterday but I was helping my husband with his first successful catering job (I’m SUPER proud). Today let’s talk about the heavy burden of being the oldest.
Being the oldest is the most overrated experience in my life. I really don’t understand why God chose to put me here first because honestly I would have chosen to be the absolute last. There’s a sort of freedom you get to have when you’re the baby of the family. Not quite that for us older children, we aren’t really afforded that freedom.
1. I always had to be the example
Do you know how hard it is to live up to a standard you never asked to have. Okay so I know I’m strong willed and goal oriented but honestly I really didn’t have a choice in all of this. I was the first and whether I liked it or not that was my job. To achieve the highest achievement and not to let everyone else down. Why because I have to set the example for those who came after me (even though sometimes I feel resented because if it).
2. My shoulders are broad and my back is strong
I feel like being the oldest adult child is the hardest when it comes to bearing everyone’s issues. We catch everything from everyone because they feel we can hold it all. Most of the times we do because we know one else can. So we are built with broad shoulders and strong backs to hold the world for everybody else. We hold it all. Why, because we know both worlds.
3. We’re didn’t ask to be here
Unbeknownst to most of the world, the oldest child never really asks to be here. The middle and youngest are usually the ones that get the happy celebration of knowing they are welcomed in the world, but like most of the oldest children in the world I wasn’t planned. So my arrival was more like an “Oh s#:+” or a “what are we going to do now” target than a “yay we are getting a baby girl”. I think this is what makes most of us fighters. We have the sink or swim mentality. It’s been the survival of the fittest since birth and you just have to keep fighting.
4. We protect the family at any cost
In the entry about My 2 Dads I said I would go to war for my family. If it ever comes to that point just know I’m winning that war. I pride in the fact and they know it. It’s not that I’m territorial, it’s a result of the absolute love I have for my family. My need to perfect them from any hurt or danger. That’s my job as the oldest.
But here’s the root of the root, the heart of the heart, when it comes to being the oldest I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I believe God sent me first because he knew I could do the job. It’s hard and stressful but I get the job done. And if any of my siblings addre reading this know yall were always the first lovers of my life, and I’d still mess anybody up who tries you.
I want to give a big shout out to all those who have subscribed, liked, commented, visited the website and shared the blog, the podcast, and anything else I have produced or brought to you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.