#lessonslearned: What About Your Friends….

I don’t know if ya’ll are going to get tired of me or not but here I am again. If you are new and reading then let me catch you up. In order to fight this battle against depression I am doing #30daysofblogging challenge. I am just trying to make sure I stay productive, transparent and true to myself. It’s really exciting to look forward to creating something new and committing to it each day. This entry is dedicated to some of the most influential people in my life, my friends. As the popular 90’s girls group would say “What about your frieeeennnnnndddddssss”. I posted an article on my Facebook account that talked about how the majority of your friends really don’t like you. Which is inconceivable (Name that movie in the comments lol) but I believe it.

I love each and everyone even the ones who judge and talk about me behind my back. Why, because at some place in their inner core they are still who they were when I met them. Now does this mean I deal with them the same, hell no. Did you not just read that first line? Just because I love someone does not mean that I can trust them. Baby life has shown me that when a person has shown you their actions believe that and not their lip service. I digress….this is not about that. I just want to talk about the different type of friendships you may encounter in life and some of the pitfalls that can come between the relationship if you let it.

The Childhood Friend:

This is your friend who has known you since before you could even think about adulting. The friend who can recall when you got your first bra, period, boyfriend and heartache. This is the friend who knows your secrets and will take them to the grave. She/He will have your back until the end and will never let anything come between your friendship….unless. The hard thing about this type of friendship is it hurts when they change on you and I’m not talking about the good kind of change. What destroys this relationship is when one of the parties begins to feel like you aren’t doing what they feel you should do.Quote about friendship

They stop being true themselves and you. They can’t accept the positive changes that are happening in your life because they want you to stay the exact same. If you get to this point make sure you try to rectify the situation and bring it to their attention. This friend will either hear you out and see your truth OR they will just continue to live the lie that they have created for themselves.

Friends Made In Crisis:

This is a friendship that’s starts through crisis. Through some kind of tragic life event and they support you through it. They offer amazing advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear. These friendships create strong support systems. Now they hard part is can this friendship stand times of peace. This is usually when crisis friendships end. They can’t last unless something crucial is happening.

Co-worker Friends:

It is hard to make have friendships in the place where you work. often times you just want to go to work and go home. In the event where you do make friends with co-workers, it can make your work day go by with less stress and more support. No the downfall of this can be if that co-worker friend doesn’t know how to separate work from personal. It’s when they step outside the lines and bring up something extremely personal in front of other co-workers who don’t know personal details. This is when you have to set boundaries. Co-worker friends need to know everybody is not invited to the friendship party.

First Time Hit It Off Friends:

I honestly love these type of friends, they can be the BEST friends ever or your worst enemies (don’t judge me, I like a gamble). You meet a person at a gathering and you know immediately that ya’ll are just going to kick it forever in life. A month later you are on a girls trip like you’ve known each other for all of your life. The best thing about these type of friendships is that there’s no preconceived ideas about anything. Get to know that person for who they are and not what they used to be. Now this friendship can still be a little dicey. I mean sociopaths are charismatic when you first meet them. So you may have to slow things down to make sure they are who they say they are.

Friends by Association:

These aren’t really friends but they are friends of friends so they must be cool right. Ugghhh nope not at all. You have to be really careful, they could just be using someone else in the friend group. With this type of friendship I would keep my distance and get to know the person before you truly call them a real friend.

Well I hope this was informative. I can think of one person in each of these categories and how the friendship has impacted my life. I feel if you don’t have friends you need to evaluate your life and to see what is causing you to be so closed off. Friends are there to love you, support you, make bad decisions with and tell you about yourself. How can you grow as a person if you don’t have that in your life? Make sure you tune into the podcast next week. I think I am actually going to make it a viewer’s choice episode because I need something lighthearted and fun in my life.

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