Day 4, blog 4 and here we go. If you are just tuning in well let me catch you up. I am doing a #30daysofblogging challenge to fight depression and stay productive. The things that have kept me pushing forward are my family, my friends and my faith. My faith is what has always kept me rooted and grounded in the best kind of way. It’s been the one thing that has always been there to pull me through life.
My RELATIONSHIP not my religion
I have a firm solid relationship with God that has been tested and tried in the fire. I knew that a relationship with God was more than hoping that I get what I needed from Him, like a genie in a bottle. There’s a difference between the two. Religion keeps you in a box. A relationship frees you from that box. I learned the difference from living life. See in my mind I had to be the good little church girl which I was trying my hardest to be.
I was at church every Sunday, bible study every Wednesday night, prayer meetings, conferences, working with the youth, singing in the choir, child I tried it. You know trying to be the model christian girl, the one others looked up to, the “Chosen One” in the church. Therefore, I was working so hard at putting up this front that I was screaming on the inside and was miserable, not because I was serving God but I was trying too hard. Sounds confusing right….well let me explain.
I learned that I couldn’t bribe God with good behavior. The process I had to work through was that I knew that God had called me and chosen me. Even if I didn’t feel like I was worthy. I was miserable because I was trying to make everyone proud and instead actually being genuine.Now don’t get me wrong I’m still trying to figure out the perfect balance for my life. I do know that God wants me to enjoy the earth and the things He has blessed me with. And that my life is in His hands, my faith is the reason I move in confidence and not in fear.
Now am I not saying I’m perfect….heck to the no. I’m pretty sure at some point I have broken a few commandments while writing this blog (help my mouth Lord!!!). If you’re offended after reading this all I can tell you right now is to stop reading my blog or listening to the podcast all together. And if you feel the need to judge me…..honey judge your mama. Child please don’t go running to your pastor. First of all this is what works for me, because it’s my relationship not your’s. But I can tell you this, I feel a much bigger connection.
Now let me leave you with some scriptures that help me to continue pull through, every single day:
- Ephesians 3:20
- Philippians 4:13
- Proverbs 4:23
- Isaiah 41:10
- I Peter 5:7
Like I said before, I am definitely not trying to tell you how to serve God. My goal is to try to be as transparent as possible and not have you believe there’s some mystical nonsense to God. Just believe and listen, I promise things will change. No you won’t always get what you want, but remember GOD IS NOT A GENIE. That’s not the way life works.