#LessonsLearned: I Don’t Have Time

I don't have time
Day 8 and away we go. Just a recap, #30daysofblogging is still going strong. I am in a better mental place AND my productivity is kicking booty. I got something I need to get off my chest though. My really good sister-friend Kimbrella uses one of my favorite phrases to state how she feels about foolishness “I DON’T HAVE TIME!!!” That’s the way I feel about certain things in life….I DON’T HAVE TIME. Anything that’s not productive or life changing is a waste of time I do not have. What’s the purpose of putting energy into things that aren’t beneficial to my life right now. I have enough on my plate as it is.
Things I DO NOT have time for:

Hyper judgmental people:

Why, WHY must we still be on this judgmental thing: Like it’s 2019, we’ve had a black president, taken multiple trips to the moon and outer space, even electric cars. People still have opinions about what others are doing with their lives. Guess what there’s more than one way to do things, so stop. Stop getting mad because people aren’t doing what you think they should do. Also how about you go judge ya mama because she probably ain’t doing nothing you want her to do either.

People who are just mean for the simple fact of being mean:

So I was looking through my comments and ratings for the podcast and somebody gave me a one star rating. Now if I wasn’t secure in myself I would have been shaken, but come on now lol 1 star hahahhaha that’s hilarious. Which leads me to this, why are you so miserable with your life that you have to make everyone else miserable? What is your purpose? Do you need a hug? Or maybe just something productive to do like actually doing something semi positive for someone else…..just maybe.

People who try to find you even though you’ve blocked them on pretty much everything:

If I block you guess what DON’T FIND ME ON ANYTHING ELSE. It means leave me alone. Don’t you find it strange that you are telling me to call you from LinkedIn and it’s not about a job opportunity. I don’t have time for your foolishness that’s why you were blocked in the first place.

People that are stuck:

Okay so you are stuck. You are in a place in your life that is uncomfortable and you don’t know your next move. We have all been there but you don’t have to stay in that position. You can make a plan and get out. It may not be easy but you can do it. Life is too short to dwell in a dead place and no one wants to constantly hear about it. So if you’re stuck…..MOVE something…anything just move.

People who lie about the most simple things:

My God in Heaven, why lie about the simplest things. Now I know sometimes people tell “white lies” to get out of tough situations, I get it. Is it right, nope but I get it. Now here’s my issue, when you lie all the freaking time for things that don’t even matter. Like I don’t get it. Here’s the issue, once you tell one lie, you have to keep lying. Look telling the truth may be hard but it’s the best way to go.
I hope this isn’t as petty as it sounded while I was typing it. But when I say I don’t have time, I mean I DON’T HAVE time. Honestly no one really has time for any of this foolishness. And neither should you. As I have told many of my students, life is too long AND too short to deal with any of the above or anything else you feel is just interfering with you living your best life. Make sure you listen to the podcast tomorrow which will be live on Facebook at 8 pm. We are going to talk about the journey to living a fulfilled life.

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#LessonsLearned: Music Soothes My Soul

Music for my heart

Day 7, Hey hey Kids!! Still on this amazing journey and I can notice a difference. If you are new, you are joining the me during a #30daysofblogging challenge.  I decided to do this to fight my depression and become more productive. I can honestly say that my plan is working, with the help of some banging music. Honestly I am in such a better head space it’s not even funny. I thank God and my support system for helping me to keep it together. My husband MADE me talk to him (which he can do that because I love him). He allowed me to speak my truth without any judgement or even trying to “fix” me. I’m not used to just venting and letting go, and he allowed me to do that very thing that I was in desperate need of.

Let’s get into the meat of this thing. Today isn’t anything really juicy, no real sarcasm or extra foolishness. Just want to talk about the music that’s feeding me at the moment. Now look some of these songs aren’t entirely spiritual and deep because that’s not what I listen to when I workout. I feel that there’s a time and place for everything, even music. When I workout that’s my time for the most ratchet part of my heart to come out. So let’s get into what I’m listening to……

A Great Work by Brian Courtney Wilson

This song has been helping me keep my head up. You know some times it’s frustrating trying to live up to the greatness that everyone sees in you. There are days that I feel like I can’t live up to anyone’s expectations, even my own. This song helps me to remember that I am not in this thing called life alone. The greatness that is in me, the fight to accomplish, the fight to be better than what I want to be, has noting to do with anything that I could have ever planted in myself. It’s a response to what has been in me since birth. When this fire was planted in me it was a fight to not only benefit me but others who I encounter. I may not be training for a track meet or another competition. This is a fight to complete this work that God has placed within me.

The Homecoming Album by Beyonce

Look you can have whatever opinion you want but this grown woman is killing it business wise. Beyonce has created a legacy for her children’s children. If you haven’t watched the Netflix special behind the production of the performance then you need to. The whole backstory is crazy and she pushed herself to the max to put on one hell of a show. So every mix on that album tells me not only am I capable because I am a Woman but I am capable because of who I believe I am.

Press by Cardi B

Now I warned you, and you can’t say I didn’t (refer to the second paragraph) please and thank you). Look this song has gotten me through the worst of leg day for the past two weeks. Talking about PRESS….what better way to tell me to throw up some weight. Soon as that beat drops that part of my lil rachet soul starts to flex (okay it’s not ratchet but you get what I mean).

Now do I have other music on the rotating ever evolving playlist, I sure do. But for now this is what’s keeping me going. Make sure you tune into the podcast that”s going to be on Facebook live at 8 pm tomorrow. Please please please go to https://linktr.ee/redcouchconfessions  to like, subscribe and follow on the different listening platforms (ESPECIALLY YouTube).  We will be discussing what happens when you’re filled but not fulfilled and what you can do.

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#lessonslearned First Comes Love Then Marriage…Then a Kid?!?!?

My eye

Day 6 and awwaaayyyy we go!! I’m proud of myself. Never would I have thought I would have made it this long with consistency (yes I know it’s only been 6 days). I’ll talk about that in tomorrow’s entry though. Today I want to talk about my hopes and dreams of one day having a kid. I’m so happy that God blessed me with a happy marriage and 2 amazing bonus kids. I promise I will seriously hurt someone over these two. Honestly they are the reason we aren’t in a big rush to have a little chocolate bundle of joy. But I can’t help but think what the little superhero would be like (yep that what he/she will be…have you not met me?)

Now I have a couple of things that I need people to know before I even think about getting preggo.

If I don’t ask then shhhhhhhhh……

I see this all the time, people giving women unsolicited advice while they are pregnant or about raising kids. What kind of egomaniac do you have to be to do this? That person has a whole support system that are full of educated or experienced individuals. Who are you to interject ideas and opinions on anyone else? If I don’t ask you then guess what don’t tell me nothing. You may think you are helping out but you have know clue what the whole situation is behind that mother and child.

I will love on my kid as much as I want

DON’T TELL ME MY CHILD WILL BE SPOILED IF I HOLD THEM TOO MUCH. Look black babies enter this world with SEVERAL setbacks. Why would I damage that baby anymore than what the world is going to do to them? So yes I will comfort them when they are sad. No I will not let them cry it out every single time. Do you know that’s how sociopaths are created. This is how you teach your children healthy emotional relationships and attachment. Oh and I’m not just talking about if I have a girl, nope this will happen with my boy as well. We need to teach both our sons and daughters that it’s okay to show emotions and feelings. Maybe this will cut down on the amount of broken unemotional adults that are passing their brokenness to others.

They can make all the messes they want

Studies have shown that children that are allowed to make messes to discover make better connections. They become better problem solvers. You can teach babies how to be messy and how to clean. So if you come in my house and we are both covered in shaving cream or water  don’t be worried. We might be having a drum solo on all the pots in the middle of the living room, just put in the complimentary ear plugs and mind your business. My baby will know that not all messes are bad and you can clean up just about anything. This the reason why my house has never been or will ever be NOT child friendly

If they don’t want to go to you guess what….

I shouldn’t have to explain this but here we go. Kids still have a built in sensor of “I’m not comfortable” and adults seem to ignore that to make other adults feel better. I refuse to take a baby that isn’t reaching for me, why because that child isn’t comfortable around me. So don’t get offended if I don’t make my kid go to you. I will respect my child’s boundaries.

If you haven’t figured it…I’m going to be that extra parent. Just warning you now. So for those who keep asking when, just know I’m going to be super extra. Make sure you tune into the podcast this Wednesday. As always I post it to the podcast page the next day. Please make sure you subscribe and like as you watch or listen on any major listening platforms spotify, apple podcast, or google podcast  

 

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#lessonslearned: My Faith ALWAYS Pulls Me Through…….

 

Faith: Bible and my picture

Day 4, blog 4 and here we go. If you are just tuning in well let me catch you up. I am doing a #30daysofblogging challenge to fight depression and stay productive. The things that have kept me pushing forward are my family, my friends and my faith. My faith is what has always kept me rooted and grounded in the best kind of way. It’s been the one thing that has always been there to pull me through life.

My RELATIONSHIP not my religion

I have a firm solid relationship with God that has been tested and tried in the fire. I knew that a relationship with God was more than hoping that I get what I needed from Him, like a genie in a bottle. There’s a difference between the two. Religion keeps you in a box. A relationship frees you from that box. I learned the difference from living life. See in my mind I had to be the good little church girl which I was trying my hardest to be.

I was at church every Sunday, bible study every Wednesday night, prayer meetings, conferences, working with the youth, singing in the choir, child I tried it. You know trying to be the model christian girl, the one others looked up to, the “Chosen One” in the church. Therefore, I was working so hard at putting up this front that I was screaming on the inside and was miserable, not because I was serving God but I was trying too hard. Sounds confusing right….well let me explain.

The Change

I learned that I couldn’t bribe God with good behavior. The process I had to work through was that I knew that God had called me and chosen me. Even if I didn’t feel like I was worthy. I was miserable because I was trying to make everyone proud and instead actually being genuine.Now don’t get me wrong I’m still trying to figure out the perfect balance for my life. I do know that God wants me to enjoy the earth and the things He has blessed me with. And that my life is in His hands, my faith is the reason I move in confidence and not in fear.

The remedy

Now am I not saying I’m perfect….heck to the no. I’m pretty sure at some point I have broken a few commandments while writing this blog (help my mouth Lord!!!). If you’re offended after reading this all I can tell you right now is to stop reading my blog or listening to the podcast all together. And if you feel the need to judge me…..honey judge your mama. Child please don’t go running to your pastor. First of all this is what works for me, because it’s my relationship not your’s. But I can tell you this, I feel a much bigger connection.

Inspiration

Now let me leave you with some scriptures that help me to continue pull through, every single day:

  1. Ephesians 3:20
  2. Philippians 4:13
  3. Proverbs 4:23
  4. Isaiah 41:10
  5. I Peter 5:7

Like I said before, I am definitely not trying to tell you how to serve God. My goal is to try to be as transparent as possible and not have you believe there’s some mystical nonsense to God. Just believe and listen, I promise things will change. No you won’t always get what you want, but remember GOD IS NOT A GENIE. That’s not the way life works.

#lessonslearned You Won’t Be Everybody’s Cup of Tea….

Hey Kids!!! Welcome back to the misadventures and fooleries of Confessions From a Red Couch. I am pleased that you have came back for more tales of life, romance, and the in between. Like I’ve said I plan to share my lessons I have learned throughout life. This post is no different. So well let’s begin shall we…..

#lessonslearned: You will never be everybody’s cup of tea!

Now look…I know myself and my personality and I can tell you this, I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I have been talked about, passed over, thrown away, and looked down upon my whole entire life. I’ve been promoted, demoted, and everything in between but I’m still living and loving. Why do I keep progressing? Honey I learned I’m not for everybody and neither are you.

Now I’m not saying that it’s okay to be a butthole (please don’t), it’s not your job to rub people the wrong way on purpose. It’s not okay to treat people with a nasty attitude. It’s not okay to be the negative Nancy or a sobby Susan (sorry if your name is Nancy or Susan, just well alliteration 🤷🏾‍♀️), your job in life is to be the best you you can be inspite of people’s attitudes toward you. This is what I have learned:

Other people’s perception of you are not who you are in total. Everyone we encounter gets a glimpse of who you are and build upon that. If someone sees you always happy that’s the perception they have of you. If someone always sees you losing it and cussing others out, that’s their perception of you. The small windows of prescription that we allow people to see are how people then perceive us. People who saw me as JUST a track coach have a different perception of me as a Science teacher. Do I try to correct their perceptions… nope. Why? It’s what they believe and until they see me in any other capacity then what’s the point. Their perceptions don’t change who I am or who you are.

People have a right to not accept you for who you are, but as long as you’re not being oppressed you keep moving foward. Look I know we as a society are trying to push that we are all special, but if we are all special… then who is truly special? Yes we all have purpose, we all have things that only we can accomplish but are we God’s only gift to the world? Nope. Do people HAVE to treat you like your ish has never stank? Absolute not. The only thing people honestly have to do is treat you with respect….DAS IT!!!

I say all this to say….you ain’t for everybody and it’s okay. Keep living, loving and being yourself. You will find your tribe and be their cup of tea while being able to spill all the juicy tea honey ❤

Just trying to be freshed faced and not looking 36 😘

Everyone doesn’t love like you….#lessonslearned

Sooooo….. hey kids. I’ve been laboring with writing this past month because I’m trying to be more consistent and make sure I’m offering content that is engaging. In truth, I’m tired lol. Teaching at a new school, starting a really big project at my church, planning a wedding (please tell my girls to stop trying to form a nonexistent wedding party lol) and everything else life has to offer has been exhausting. Adulting is fun and sucks all at the same time lol But anyway…. I digress.

This lesson was extremely hard for me to learn through life, and I’m still learning it. I could never understand the concept of mutual love because I’ve always felt that if I show you how I love you should be able to mirror it. But how many of us have felt this way? I mean it’s really not that hard right….. WRONG. Everyone is different, everyone comes from different backgrounds, and EVERYONE has learned how to love differently.

When I was younger I ALWAYS had issue with relationships with other people: family, loved ones, friends, significant others, because I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t love just like me. I mean by gift and profession I am a teacher, I make it simple: I do, we do, you do. I’ll even draw a diagram, sing a song, build a model, whatever they needed to learn how I love. But this NEVER worked, not even with my family. Why, because while I was trying to teach them how to love me I wasn’t paying attention to how THEY wanted to be loved. So busy screaming and throwing tantrums while yelling “LOVE ME LOVE ME”, that I wasn’t listening to their silent pleas of “but this is how I want you to love me”.

It wasn’t until I was about 29-30 (goodness that seems so long ago….I feel decrepit) when I discovered that everyone had a different way of loving or even showing love. How? Because I hurt some people who really loved me but I was too selfish to accept the way they loved. Like I’ve always said, I AM NOT PERFECT! Nor do I ever pretend to be, but I caused some really bad blood because I was too immature to see that they were doing the absolute best that they could. So after apologizing and accepting myself for the jerk that I could be I started a journey of loving, listening, and observing. Yep…. you have to actually be active in this thing called love.

I needed a change and so I went on a lovely journey. I learned to listen and pay attention to others. I read books on types and ways to love. I stopped forcing people to love me in a way I saw fit and started understanding how and why people loved they way that they loved. It was a hard journey. I had to develope boundaries but it’s been great. My advice to you is to listen and observe. Don’t be selfish and self centered. The world does not revolve around you and neither does the sun rise and set on your behind. Love is a give and take. Just make sure you’re giving and taking is equal. Don’t get out of balance and end up empty. Keep loving, living and listening ❤

Hey 36 ❤

Hello failure, my old friend……

I see you summer….but why are you so hot so early? Anyway, summer is here and my summer body is NOT ready. At this point it doesn’t even matter. When I step out on the beach, the pool, the splash pad at the park you are going to get whatever is under these clothes. Why? It’s ALREADY too hot to wear clothes in Houston. I’m not about to be extra modest and uncomfortable because you don’t like my pudginess. Get over it….I already have.

Okay enough about the heat let’s, talk about something familiar and uncomfortable. We all make mistakes. We make decisions in life that are based on emotion, fear, our own idea of success, others failures, and our experiences. These decisions don’t always lead to great outcomes and that’s okay.

Failure helps us learn and move forward. I feel like I’ve had more failures in life than successes but others who look into my life see totally different. For instance after my first year of successful teaching and coaching I lost my job and it was my fault. I was scheduled to take the Texas Certification exams in August of 2008 but I was injured during a volleyball camp and had to have emergency surgery on the day of the exams. I spent half of that semester in physical therapy and depressed. I had no one to blame but myself and it was heart wrenching.

Now I got my job back with help, influence, and encouragement from a lot of people on team Janae, but I knew deep in my heart of hearts that I should have scheduled those exams earlier than August. It was a learning experience and from that I learned I had to trust myself again. We all make mistakes, in love, in career, in living, in life but you have to remember that you aren’t perfect and you have to trust your own judgement in life. Here’s some ways that can help:

1. Pray!!! God will never steer you wrong. Usually when we make mistakes we want to blame God for the bad stuff and take credit for the good stuff. Honestly God directs your path but it’s up to you to follow the path He sets. I didn’t pray about scheduling those exams nor did I take having them done seriously. I ignored the sense of urgency that I had each month to get the job done and in the end I reaped the benefits of that big old L (it actually turned out to be a good thing… I’ll talk about that later).

2. Learn from your mistakes. Take this as time to reflect on how you can improve yourself and the choices you have made. Did you listen to yourself as you made the decision? Did you go around red flags because you wanted to try it anyway? Trust your inner judgement. You know what’s right for you and believe in yourself. Most of the time when you reflect back on a decision you realize you ignored your first thought. You went against what you knew for yourself as truth. It’s okay we all do it.

3. Always remember you can move forward. Not matter how bad you have messed up you can start over again. That’s the beautiful thing about life. You can start over again without really having to explain things to anyone (even if you have kids…. they adapt). Moving forward is based off you trusting that you learned from your mistake and you can go forward in life. You can’t give up because you messed up! You know how many things we wouldn’t have in life if everyone stopped after they made one mistake?
That’s the process of life: you live, you make choices, you learn from the good and bad and you keep it moving. If I would have stopped after I lost my job I would be stuck in” what if” land. No one wants to be in that space!We all know people in that place: what if I would have went to school? What if I didn’t have these kids? What if…. blah, blah, blah! You’re stuck in a reality that hasn’t happened, just move forward make something happen (I know, I’ve been in what if land with my book….). Just trust yourself and do it. What’s the worst that could have? You write the book, you get the job, you cure cancer? Possibilities can be endless but you have to move forward!

Still saying yes…. but I still have boundaries

*In my Marvin Sapp voice* Never would have made it…..

Never could have made it to the end of the school year

Lord knows I’m excited to be done honey. I’m over your kids, it’s your turn. Tag you’re it!! Now look I can help you figure out what to do with them during the summer. There are TONS of STEM and coding camps that will help your babies get into the tech field. If your kids are athlete there are plenty of schools that are having summer conditioning/boot camps with morning and afternoon sessions. But as for this teacher…. I’m going to be enjoying my summer doing all the things I want to do and planning a wedding (still in disbelief lol).

So the year of saying yes does not mean I have forgotten my boundaries. I’m saying yes to opportunities that will open up new doors but I’m still saying no to things that will cause my anxiety to go out of control. Simply put I’m saying yes to my boundaries.

“But I thought you said you didn’t have a wall around you’re heart anymore”…. ain’t nobody asked you to ask me that. But let me reply to you’re little funky statement. See the boundaries are not to keep too keep people out of my life, it’s more to protect myself from my own actions. The characteristics that make me great can also be abused.

My heart is big, I will give you what you need, even if it means me going without. See that can be abused, so my boundary is to make sure I have what I need and IF I can afford it then I can give it.

I have a bad habit of being very straight foward, sometimes a little too blunt. Even when I say something in love to others it comes out harsh. So now my boundary is to make sure I think before I speak (and check my facial expressions because Lord knows my face hides nothing).

Oooo here’s another important one: I don’t let people guilt me into saying yes. I have a boundary that protects my time and my mental well being. If I feel like I’m over extending myself, you will definitely get a no from me. Dealing with anxiety and unnecessary stress is not what I do anymore. I will protect my mental well being at all costs.

There are others but I don’t want to bore you with my ramblings. Just know I’m still saying yes but my boundaries are helping me to maintain a good balance.

Who sent you…..and we about to plan a what? 😲

Happy May to my peoples!!! We are almost at the halfway mark to the year. 2018 has been amazing!!! Ever since I started saying “yes” this year, new vision, new opportunities and new doors have been opened. I’m just hoping I can last these next 13 days of the school year. I have no clue why but 2017-18 school has been the LONGEST CRAZIEST school year ever. From hurricanes to snow days in the south and oh let us not forget the most wonderful idea of arming teachers (please note the sarcasm in that statement). I don’t know but this year has tested and tried my patience and faith. But with great joy I can say I’ve made it and I pray that the next couple of weeks will be amazing and quiet.

In other news… child I’m engaged!!! My Chocolate man proposed to me on April 28,2018. Yes this man decided to be stuck with the guarded, sarcastic, random, non-traditional, weirdo of which I represent in full force. He did it just how I thought it would happen and gave me the best present ever. He’s the one God sent to heal my heart and I’m so thankful. I still look at him and think “Who sent you? “. Im happy, but there’s one problem…..I have to plan a wedding (dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!😖).

Okay, so here is when the anxiety sets in, think about it, I’m the woman who doesn’t believe in fairytales. I’m the one who laughs at shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” and banned it from ever being watched in my house. I’m the woman who always thought that IF I ever got married that people would at least have to take a whole week off from work because baby it will be a celebration. The mere thought of me allowing someone that close would have to be an act of God (God got big jokes….Him and Jesus ain’t funny lol).

So here’s a list of things I WILL NOT DO while planning this wedding:

1. I will not let anyone deter me from my wedding vision….. once I get one. Look for everyone that knows me knows that I am not a formal girl. So anything grand filled with pomp amd circumstance is not me. No grandiose, nothing over the top. I just want to share the moment with him and the people who really love me. And like I said earlier we are going to party until the wheels fall off because Lord knows it’s a celebration.

2. I refuse to spend a small fortune on something that is literally only going to last 30 min. Neither am I going to spend ridiculous money on the events leading up to the wedding. See the thing is we have to live after the wedding…. like for real we are going to have to spend the rest of our lives together (no lol like for real hahahah). If you know me and feel the absolute “need” to suggest something, make sure you ask my price range first. I refuse to spend a ridiculous amount of money something that’s literally only going to last 30 min. It’s just not fiscally responsible.

3. I’m not wearing white!!!

4. Do not….I repeat DO NOT get offended to what I may wear or the song I walk down the aisle to. (You have been warned 😇)

Lol most of these are just jokes. If you know my circle yall know some of this will not be happening at all…..or some of it might (because I’m grown and I’ll do what I want). Just please pray that all of this goes well and within a year or so everything will come together ❤

Saying YES…..(not what you’re thinking)

Happy April!!! So after my last blog I have decided to get my life. 35 will not defeat me. So I am going to start taking care of me. Per my last post (yes…please say it like you’re typing someone in an email “per my last email 😑😑”) I am going to be a little more selfish and start focusing on Me and saying yes to Me. I have a plan…. guess I can share it because maybe one of y’all will keep me accountable.

I had to go into my war room (aka my car….. hush your face I pray where I want) this morning and ask God for some help (Nothing will move you more than a dream of you dying…*shutters*). So in my dream last night I died. I literally felt the life leave my body and woke up coughing. It wasn’t the death that scared me more than feeling like I was going to leave this world and no one would notice or care (sorry if this is morbi but…..).Nothing scares me more than dying and not having anything accomplished and no these 3 degrees are not accomplishments to me (and I don’t care what you and ya mama think about it). I felt that in my dream last night. That my hopes and dreams had ended before I could ever get them started….but let me NOT digress. This plan, let’s talk about it.

1. I’m going to read more. My passion for reading has been killed by the distraction of everything. I love reading but as of lately I haven’t been able to read anything except lesson plans and dumb quizzes on facebook. I’m going to start by actually reading Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes. Why this book…. because I forgot how yo say Yes to myself.

2. In May I’m attending a conference called Women Winning at Work, and yes I bought a VIP ticket because I am saying Yes to myself. I really want to be more productive in my career, not only that, I want to be more productive in my endeavers outside my career. I feel this conference will not only push me to achieve better but will light a fire under my feet to get on the good foot (let’s go sugar foot!!!)

3. I am listening to more podcasts and doing my homework. Living in fear of backlash is keeping me from moving forward with something that could be amazing for me. It’s time for me to start pushing myself out in the public eye a little more. I mean yes I’ve done this as an athlete and a coach but I feel that at some point I need to known as this person I am at this minute. I’m not going to be ashamed of mistakes in the past or mistakes in the future, because someone may actually need to hear my story.

4. The book WILL BE DONE BY JUNE. No further explanation needed for that.

Hopefully my few and faithful will continue to push me. HOPEFULLY they haven’t lost faith in me like I have for myself, but if they did I am going to give them something to believe in one more time.

Little razzle dazzel for the one time ❤