Everyone doesn’t love like you….#lessonslearned

Sooooo….. hey kids. I’ve been laboring with writing this past month because I’m trying to be more consistent and make sure I’m offering content that is engaging. In truth, I’m tired lol. Teaching at a new school, starting a really big project at my church, planning a wedding (please tell my girls to stop trying to form a nonexistent wedding party lol) and everything else life has to offer has been exhausting. Adulting is fun and sucks all at the same time lol But anyway…. I digress.

This lesson was extremely hard for me to learn through life, and I’m still learning it. I could never understand the concept of mutual love because I’ve always felt that if I show you how I love you should be able to mirror it. But how many of us have felt this way? I mean it’s really not that hard right….. WRONG. Everyone is different, everyone comes from different backgrounds, and EVERYONE has learned how to love differently.

When I was younger I ALWAYS had issue with relationships with other people: family, loved ones, friends, significant others, because I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t love just like me. I mean by gift and profession I am a teacher, I make it simple: I do, we do, you do. I’ll even draw a diagram, sing a song, build a model, whatever they needed to learn how I love. But this NEVER worked, not even with my family. Why, because while I was trying to teach them how to love me I wasn’t paying attention to how THEY wanted to be loved. So busy screaming and throwing tantrums while yelling “LOVE ME LOVE ME”, that I wasn’t listening to their silent pleas of “but this is how I want you to love me”.

It wasn’t until I was about 29-30 (goodness that seems so long ago….I feel decrepit) when I discovered that everyone had a different way of loving or even showing love. How? Because I hurt some people who really loved me but I was too selfish to accept the way they loved. Like I’ve always said, I AM NOT PERFECT! Nor do I ever pretend to be, but I caused some really bad blood because I was too immature to see that they were doing the absolute best that they could. So after apologizing and accepting myself for the jerk that I could be I started a journey of loving, listening, and observing. Yep…. you have to actually be active in this thing called love.

I needed a change and so I went on a lovely journey. I learned to listen and pay attention to others. I read books on types and ways to love. I stopped forcing people to love me in a way I saw fit and started understanding how and why people loved they way that they loved. It was a hard journey. I had to develope boundaries but it’s been great. My advice to you is to listen and observe. Don’t be selfish and self centered. The world does not revolve around you and neither does the sun rise and set on your behind. Love is a give and take. Just make sure you’re giving and taking is equal. Don’t get out of balance and end up empty. Keep loving, living and listening ❤

Hey 36 ❤

Remix!!!!!

Hey kids!!! After a month hiatus and regrouping I am back!!! Child I have been strategizing and in the kitchen wrist twisting like a stir fry. I have decided to take this thing to a different level because well it’s time to step out on faith and stop being scary (because faith without works makes you frustrated and stressed out). So please know there will be adjustments, hiccups and mess ups but I need you to pray my strength that I keep moving forward ❤

With that being said I’m going to start #lessonslearned. I just think it’s necessary to share the things I and many others have learned in life. Lessons are important to share because sometimes you just need to know that you aren’t alone or you just need guidance. I’m not saying that I’m super amazing at this thing called life but maybe you can learn some things from the many times I’ve bumped my head or just hit it out of the park (which feels like it has been few and far in between).

I’m super excited to be taking this journey and taking this blog more seriously than in the past. I love your comments and I’m totally open to CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. With that being said, I’m going to say this as nice as I possibly can: I’M STILL PETTY DO NOT COME FOR ME.

Live and love your life ❤ New posts coming soon: Everyone Doesn’t Love like You Do

Sometimes you just need to ramble….

Feelings…..all up in my feelings!!! Hey party people 🤗. It’s June, baby we are half way done with this year. It’s crazy to think how much has happened already. New job, fiance, new hairstyle, new attitude…chile I don’t even know what to do with myself (maybe fold up that mountain of laundry from 3 years ago…and that’s a big MAYBE).

This post is just going to be more of a culmination of all my thoughts because well it’s a lot going on in life. I figured I type it out rather than keep everything swirling around in my head, because well that’s the point of the blog.

I am tired of what we call television and entertainment these days. I find myself searching for more sitcoms from the 90s than anything else when I’m flipping through channels (which means I don’t watch much tv). Lately I just think everything is a confusing mess. Reality tv isn’t reality. Television shows are just confusing and full of well foolishness. All music sounds the same, it’s either mumbling, whining or mush mouth voices. I’m bored with it, there’s nothing that touches my soul anymore. I find myself listening to podcast or my audiobooks (thanks Audible app ❤).

What the heck is going on with this nation? I still feel like we are on a global episode of Punked. Like come on!!! Gas prices are crazy high, which means the price of everything else is about to get stupid crazy. “Celebraties” are now politicians who know nothing about politics. We have families being torn apart in detention centers and no one is making a big deal about it. People seem to be sleeping on the fact that we are turning into the very thing we have fought centuries to not become. We are becoming a fascist society and no one seems to think any less about it. I swear I don’t watch the news because I feel like I’m in a nightmare everytime I wake up. And still no one is doing anything about it.

At some point we have to do more about mental health. Kids it’s real and there’s nothing wrong with admitting it. I’ve had to have a therapist to deal with extreme anxiety. Why? Because I got tired of having to pop a Xanax everyday just to get through life. It’s time we get to the root of our issues and not just slap a bandaid over it. There are so many ways to get it without being embarrassed about it. Honestly, we have unlimited access to traumatic situations everyday and you can see it’s starting to take its toll. It’s not a bad thing to find someone and just “talk it out”.

What is this new thing with having or being life coach? Maybe it’s because I blog a lot so this is what comes up in my social media feed but man EVERYBODY has a coaching class that can change your life. Want a money making blog….we have a class for that. Want to write a book….we have a class for that. Want to be popular with the cool kids….we have a class for that. Want to master not giving af about life…hey we have a class for that too. All you have to pay is 756 catrillion dollars and someone can help you be amazing at the life you want to live. Whatever happened to just living and stepping out on faith to see what happens. There is no magic formula to experiencing life other than well experiencing life. I blame us for being a microwave society, always wanting to see results in 5 minutes or less. It takes more than that, but like everyone else we don’t want to do the work. You’re wasting your money!! Stop paying people for a magic pill.

I guess I’m done for the night. Maybe I’ll get a handle on this clean laundry so I can move forward with life (or I’ll probably just burn it all and start fresh and new 🤷🏾‍♀️).

It’s too hot for hair right now ❤

Hello failure, my old friend……

I see you summer….but why are you so hot so early? Anyway, summer is here and my summer body is NOT ready. At this point it doesn’t even matter. When I step out on the beach, the pool, the splash pad at the park you are going to get whatever is under these clothes. Why? It’s ALREADY too hot to wear clothes in Houston. I’m not about to be extra modest and uncomfortable because you don’t like my pudginess. Get over it….I already have.

Okay enough about the heat let’s, talk about something familiar and uncomfortable. We all make mistakes. We make decisions in life that are based on emotion, fear, our own idea of success, others failures, and our experiences. These decisions don’t always lead to great outcomes and that’s okay.

Failure helps us learn and move forward. I feel like I’ve had more failures in life than successes but others who look into my life see totally different. For instance after my first year of successful teaching and coaching I lost my job and it was my fault. I was scheduled to take the Texas Certification exams in August of 2008 but I was injured during a volleyball camp and had to have emergency surgery on the day of the exams. I spent half of that semester in physical therapy and depressed. I had no one to blame but myself and it was heart wrenching.

Now I got my job back with help, influence, and encouragement from a lot of people on team Janae, but I knew deep in my heart of hearts that I should have scheduled those exams earlier than August. It was a learning experience and from that I learned I had to trust myself again. We all make mistakes, in love, in career, in living, in life but you have to remember that you aren’t perfect and you have to trust your own judgement in life. Here’s some ways that can help:

1. Pray!!! God will never steer you wrong. Usually when we make mistakes we want to blame God for the bad stuff and take credit for the good stuff. Honestly God directs your path but it’s up to you to follow the path He sets. I didn’t pray about scheduling those exams nor did I take having them done seriously. I ignored the sense of urgency that I had each month to get the job done and in the end I reaped the benefits of that big old L (it actually turned out to be a good thing… I’ll talk about that later).

2. Learn from your mistakes. Take this as time to reflect on how you can improve yourself and the choices you have made. Did you listen to yourself as you made the decision? Did you go around red flags because you wanted to try it anyway? Trust your inner judgement. You know what’s right for you and believe in yourself. Most of the time when you reflect back on a decision you realize you ignored your first thought. You went against what you knew for yourself as truth. It’s okay we all do it.

3. Always remember you can move forward. Not matter how bad you have messed up you can start over again. That’s the beautiful thing about life. You can start over again without really having to explain things to anyone (even if you have kids…. they adapt). Moving forward is based off you trusting that you learned from your mistake and you can go forward in life. You can’t give up because you messed up! You know how many things we wouldn’t have in life if everyone stopped after they made one mistake?
That’s the process of life: you live, you make choices, you learn from the good and bad and you keep it moving. If I would have stopped after I lost my job I would be stuck in” what if” land. No one wants to be in that space!We all know people in that place: what if I would have went to school? What if I didn’t have these kids? What if…. blah, blah, blah! You’re stuck in a reality that hasn’t happened, just move forward make something happen (I know, I’ve been in what if land with my book….). Just trust yourself and do it. What’s the worst that could have? You write the book, you get the job, you cure cancer? Possibilities can be endless but you have to move forward!

Who sent you…..and we about to plan a what? 😲

Happy May to my peoples!!! We are almost at the halfway mark to the year. 2018 has been amazing!!! Ever since I started saying “yes” this year, new vision, new opportunities and new doors have been opened. I’m just hoping I can last these next 13 days of the school year. I have no clue why but 2017-18 school has been the LONGEST CRAZIEST school year ever. From hurricanes to snow days in the south and oh let us not forget the most wonderful idea of arming teachers (please note the sarcasm in that statement). I don’t know but this year has tested and tried my patience and faith. But with great joy I can say I’ve made it and I pray that the next couple of weeks will be amazing and quiet.

In other news… child I’m engaged!!! My Chocolate man proposed to me on April 28,2018. Yes this man decided to be stuck with the guarded, sarcastic, random, non-traditional, weirdo of which I represent in full force. He did it just how I thought it would happen and gave me the best present ever. He’s the one God sent to heal my heart and I’m so thankful. I still look at him and think “Who sent you? “. Im happy, but there’s one problem…..I have to plan a wedding (dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!😖).

Okay, so here is when the anxiety sets in, think about it, I’m the woman who doesn’t believe in fairytales. I’m the one who laughs at shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” and banned it from ever being watched in my house. I’m the woman who always thought that IF I ever got married that people would at least have to take a whole week off from work because baby it will be a celebration. The mere thought of me allowing someone that close would have to be an act of God (God got big jokes….Him and Jesus ain’t funny lol).

So here’s a list of things I WILL NOT DO while planning this wedding:

1. I will not let anyone deter me from my wedding vision….. once I get one. Look for everyone that knows me knows that I am not a formal girl. So anything grand filled with pomp amd circumstance is not me. No grandiose, nothing over the top. I just want to share the moment with him and the people who really love me. And like I said earlier we are going to party until the wheels fall off because Lord knows it’s a celebration.

2. I refuse to spend a small fortune on something that is literally only going to last 30 min. Neither am I going to spend ridiculous money on the events leading up to the wedding. See the thing is we have to live after the wedding…. like for real we are going to have to spend the rest of our lives together (no lol like for real hahahah). If you know me and feel the absolute “need” to suggest something, make sure you ask my price range first. I refuse to spend a ridiculous amount of money something that’s literally only going to last 30 min. It’s just not fiscally responsible.

3. I’m not wearing white!!!

4. Do not….I repeat DO NOT get offended to what I may wear or the song I walk down the aisle to. (You have been warned 😇)

Lol most of these are just jokes. If you know my circle yall know some of this will not be happening at all…..or some of it might (because I’m grown and I’ll do what I want). Just please pray that all of this goes well and within a year or so everything will come together ❤