Dating After Divorce: Why I Can’t Stop Looking for Red Flags
Dating After Divorce: Why I Can’t Stop Looking for Red Flags
Dating after divorce is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—frustrating, confusing, and no matter how hard you try, it still looks messy in the end.
And when you’ve been through a divorce while raising a newborn? Whew! It changes you. I went from just wanting love to acting like a human lie detector. Instead of looking for someone who treats me well, I spend all my time hunting for red flags like it’s my job. Meanwhile, the nice guys with green flags? I don’t even see them!
The Hardest Time of My Life
Let me take you back. Imagine you’re running on two hours of sleep, your baby is crying for no reason, and you can’t remember the last time you ate a real meal. Now add divorce papers to the mix. Fun, right?
Postpartum depression hit me hard. I was sad, exhausted, and barely holding things together. Some days, I felt like a bad mom. Other days, I felt like a bad person. The only thing keeping me going was my baby, a little hope, and maybe some late-night ice cream.
So when I finally got past all that, I wasn’t in the mood for love. I was in the mood for peace. But at some point, people started asking, “Are you ready to date again?” and I thought, Well… maybe.
The Dating Pool Is… A Mess
Let me tell you—dating after divorce is wild.
The men out here? Some of them are not okay.
I started talking to guys, and within five minutes, my brain was throwing up red flags left and right:
“My ex was crazy.” 🚩
“I don’t really believe in labels.” 🚩
“I just go with the flow.” 🚩
Says he owns a business but won’t explain what he does. 🚩🚩🚩
One guy told me he didn’t believe in science. I am a science teacher. That was my sign to leave.
Ignoring the Green Flags
Here’s the real problem—I’m so busy looking for red flags that I don’t even notice the green ones.
A man asked me how my day was, and I got suspicious. Another planned a real date instead of just texting, “We should chill,” and I panicked.
I was so used to bad relationships that when someone good showed up, I thought, Something isn’t right.
Learning to See the Good Guys
So, I had to check myself. Not every man is out here playing games. Some of them actually:
✔️ Call when they say they will.
✔️ Respect my time.
✔️ Have real jobs and real goals.
✔️ Know how to communicate without making me feel crazy.
And guess what? That’s normal! It took me a long time to understand that I deserve good things.
What’s Next?
So, am I dating? Kind of. Maybe. Okay, ask me next week.
What I do know is that I’m working on opening my heart again—while still keeping my brain on. Because while I never want to go through heartbreak again, I also don’t want to block my blessings.
And who knows? Maybe the right guy has been waving his green flag this whole time. I just have to stop looking away.
